WORDS BY LADY G- THE LUMP IN MY LEFT BREAST

The Lump In My Left Breast

Happy Friday my beautiful people!

Now now, don’t be too alarmed about the title. WE LIVE BEYOND THE PHYSICAL!

Backstory upon finding this lump:

Years ago, on a sunny afternoon, my lovely truck decided to shut off in the middle of the road. JJs were in the back seat. Without question, I hopped out of the truck (put the gear in neutral) and pushed it through two traffic lights. Who did I think I was?? The HULK??!!LOL

Obviously, pain followed shortly after. For those of you who really know me, know that I will avoid going to the doctor as long as I can. I would make every excuse not to go. However, the pain worsened as the time went by.

I took my sorry behind to the emergency side of the hospital. Five long dreadful hours later, my results: I managed to pull the muscles around my heart. Good job dork! NOT!

In the following years, every time I would do anything strenuous (not push a truck of course) the same symptoms would rise. It usually takes about a week to heal (or at least not hurt anymore). This time around, two weeks have gone by and the pain wouldn’t shake. One night, I was lying in bed watching a scary movie (I don’t know how this is relevant to any of this, but you’re still reading…so..lol) when I decided to apply pressure to the area where it hurt badly. There she was…a lump in my left breast (you can only imagine where my mind took me that evening)

I was trying to find a reason not to go to the doctor once again. I even tried to convince myself that the lump wasn’t there. I had two of my closest friends feel that area so they could just tell me it was all in my head. Unfortunately, it was still there…hanging out like an uninvited family member at a family reunion.

I went to the doctor….sure enough, he felt it too. By this time, I was requested to get tests done. My first visit was to get a sonogram on my left breast. Turned out, I had to get a mammogram too!

Let me tell you how that went (it was beyond embarrassing):

I checked in, got called to the back, changed into a gown and was led to the mammogram room. The machine looked like it couldn’t wait to squeeze the crap out of my boob. Standing awkwardly in front of the machine, the lady began giving me instructions:

She: Take a step to the left. (What do I do? I surely stepped to the right.)

We laughed it off..

She: place your left breast here (Thoughts: of course I will place my saggy DDD breast on the machine for you..AHHH)

She: (After the first shot was taken) you can move now. (Thoughts: I wanted to, but my breast had other plans. It was sitting there looking at me like a flat pancake)

Me: One second, please. (I can feel myself blushing with embarrassment) My breast peeled off like Velcro does to its tape.. I could’ve sworn I heard the same sound as I shamefully got it off.

She: (Repositioning me) Look my way. (Thoughts: Ma’am, I can’t look at you while my breast is sitting on the machine like that.)

She: (Fast forward, last shot) the machine is now tilted to squeeze the area where the lump exists. She was positioning my breast like she was trying to get a perfect shot for a well- known magazine. She even went under the machine to push my sad boob upwardly… longest 30 seconds of my life.

She: We’re all done. You did great. (Thoughts: I may have done great, minus moving to the right when you clearly said left, but my boob was not a good sport)

Off to the sonogram room.

I’ll spare you the details…results turned out to be a cyst. I asked the nurse if she would show me what it looked like.

This woman showed me results with my cyst in a medium, perky boob.

Me: Are you sure that’s my results?

She: What do you mean?

Me: I mean look at these bad boys and look at the breast in the picture?

Let’s just say they loved me so much there, I received a phone call the very next day saying that the doctor needs more tests ran.