Futuristic View Of My Journey

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Luvaholics,

                I came across this paper I have written a while ago. Although I have not been in my country in 18 years; this paper is a combination of a dream and my memories as a child when I did live there. Hope you enjoy!

Futuristic View of my Journey

Months after high school, the world I once knew exited my life like a faded memory.  Quality time with my friends and family have been replaced with responsibilities.  Destiny has called them to fulfill what the universe has planned for them.  Words can not describe the emptiness that has filled my heart. Suddenly, I became relatable to a patient in a coma.  Physically present, yet consciously trapped in a dream.

Unwinding from a long day, my room seemed like the only space my sanity was found.  Taken by time, I knew I had to buckle down and set long-term goals for myself.  Where does one begin?  The traditional thought of going to college sounded like the ideal thing to do, but my heart was not settled there just yet.  A combination of mixed emotions left me flustered. Looking around, from wall to wall, as if the walls would magically provide me with an answer for my future.  Overwhelmed with irrelevant “what if’s” scenarios; I cried myself to sleep.

Unknowingly aware of my next anything, my dream brought on a futuristic view of endless possibilities.  This particular dream was like no other.  It held the key to a locked door I was struggling to open.  I was too focused on what could be behind the door; rather than focusing on the bigger picture in front of the door.  This dream created a way for a new journey.

Jerusalem, Israel was calling me. My birthplace became some where my heart was beating for.  Could it be? I literally had to pinch myself for smiling at the thought of visiting a country where my roots were buried in.  After discussing the importance of going back home with my parents, I booked a ticket.  Fast forward to the day of when my new journey began. Nervous, anxious, and excited; my stomach quickly filled with butterflies as the plane lifted off of the ground.  This was my first real experience on a plane.  It was breathtaking, literally!  Did I mention it was breathtaking?! It was surreal. Not only was I 30,000 feet above ground, but I actually went on a plane by myself.  Eleven and a half hours and two plane rides later, I finally made it on the land I have been dreaming about for years.

Familiar faces I have only seen in pictures were approaching me with welcoming arms.  It was almost as if I had déjà vu, except I was physically there! All of the pictures, stories my parents told me, the Arabic foods I have eaten throughout the years was nothing compared to what I had the pleasure of experiencing while I was there.  The smell in the air, the authentic foods that embraced my taste buds, the historic sites, the undoubtedly friendly people and the culture as a whole gave me a sense of happiness I have never felt before.  The feeling was indescribable.  I could not believe that I wasted so many years depriving myself from this beautiful country.

Despite its beauty, the beautiful people, and phenomenal hospitality, I realized that my world was totally different than my cousins that were around my age.  They appreciated the little things in life and did not take things or people for granted.  When I say little, I mean something as little as playing in the streets with a ball for hours and hours at a time and/or spending quality time with the family. Every day was definitely a new day full of adventure and excitement.

As days went by, I learned that at our age my cousins knew how to cook, clean, and pretty much take care of themselves. Their world consisted of love, family, and happiness. Something I could get acquainted with.  Their lifestyle had such a big impact on my life. I was slowly adjusting to their slow pace lifestyle full of meaning until I realized my time there was running out! As hard as it was to say good bye, I knew in my heart it would not be the last time.

A little about the personality traits I was determined to leave behind: being sheltered, being afraid of change, being dependent on my parents, and generally lost.  I never knew how good I had it.  Or did I?  Spoiled was not cute anymore.  I was setting myself up for failure.  It finally clicked. I was not a child. No matter how much I wish that was still the case, my visit to Jerusalem was an eye opener that I definitely needed.

When I was on my way back to America, I took the time to come up with plans for my life.  Eleven and a half hours was good to reflect on the changes that needed to take place.  It amazed me that I did not fear being that high up as I did when I was on my way to Jerusalem.

Seven months later, I have a job, I am in college full- time, and my cousins’ attitude rubbed off on me in a great way.  I am a working progress, but I am not the lost little girl anymore.